A group of small men with grinning,
Evil faces sat on my roof, banged
Wooden spoons on old tiles and
Demanded to be fed.

They shouted obscenities down
The chimney, stuck
Their tongues out and laughed
Raucously.

Red faced elves, unshaven hooligans
Who felt that Christmas hadn’t been
Long nor hedonistic enough to their
Liking

When I studiously ignored their
Racket they slid down my roof,
Climbed the neighbour’s and
Kicked his cat.

Who, for the sake of his restless
Children, nervous wife and trying
Mother-in-law, fed them brandy,
Cakes and ale.