Poems by Adurthi Sushana

Unexpected Loneness

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

Unexpectedly,
hidden on a small planet behind a star
this finding not wanted by either
no rediscovering of what we had
both been fleeing
yet, between us- you in your hovering spacecraft,
me on my silent world
a fire was lit
no, our hearts protested
no more encroaching,
promises spoken, then broken
no more!!
We had been very good at our hiding
until then
but if there are truly no accidents
in this divinity-driven cosmos
we must have actually been searching
for what we believed we no longer wanted to find
one day a change came
was it the solar winds?
A meteor striking a planet nearby?
You pulled back
began to withdraw
the next day you were gone
darkness set in.
I amused myself by gathering stardust,
grabbed the edge of the Milky Way
and floated,
planted a flower,
danced through the forest
after a long while I renewed
at peace once more with my aloneness.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A Widow’s Thoughts

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

Love, I do concede,
A vision across the table white,
You looked at me, our eyes did meet,
There flashed a passion strong,
I realized then how much I cared,
And now for you I long.
Now that you’ve gone and left me here,
Now that I’m all alone,
I sit and while away the days,
Here in the house that we called home.
Everything I knew of love,
Died along with you,
Every fiber of my soul,
All that I held dear and true.
You see my love, my one and only,
I remember you this night,
Of all the times we held embrace,
Of when your spirit shined so bright.
My love, my one and only,
I’ve lost you, now your gone,
But lose I never will, the sweetest gift!
That was the time spent together.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A Million Miles in the Sea

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

I am in love with the sea
She sings to me every day
A Siren, calling me to her.
In my mind, once again I answer that call,
Ghosting along in my boat,
A ten knot wind pushing me,
Main plump with the breeze.
My tiller quivers to be set free
Soon I am at that wondrous place
That place where the ocean transforms into deepwater blue
Shore falls away
Leaving me alone at last with the sea.
Fellow travelers are scattered about me.
Small heeling dots on the horizon
Headed for faraway places, too.
Restless… LIKE ME.
Rooted now only to water,
No connection to land.
Onward we glide…
Bound towards a shoreless world,
Anticipating the new,
Forgetting the old.
How can they stand it?
Being so stuck to the ground?
Not relishing the beauty of the Sea?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Sea… at dawn

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

Have you sailed the sea at dawn?
Meandered its pink highway and trails,
traveling places Spirit alone knows?
The sea, a world apart from our own
and yet so much the same
we ride those deep waters
to rediscover ourselves.

Poets speak of the path unchosen
I chose that path a lifetime ago
Was I wrong, mistaken, I wonder,
to choose these rumbling chaotic seas?

I won’t know the answer
unless angels whisper such in my ear
but will sail forth undaunted
trusting safe harbor will appear again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Fighting the Loneliness… The Tears (A Widow)

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

Every Body says…
“Don’t Cry!”
So I should not cry!
I am young, but my body, it feels
It feels like I am ready to die!

Your eyes, I miss you,
Your lips, I need you,
Your touch, I want you,
Why haven’t you spoken,
called or said goodbye?

I was said to be a flower
But now my core is bleeding
And my body decomposing.

It is said ‘time heals all’
Then why do I feel, like an illusion
Present, but not here.

I can stand no more agony or pain
I will have to say goodbye
Or be my own shadow
Forever I love you…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Expectations

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

Setting ourselves up,
time and time again,
expecting it to be different,
disillusioned when it is not!
Each time when we give…
we give more!
Replaced with blind hope,
expecting that some day,
some thing will go right!
Hence we wait,
trying to fill the void,
with miracle diets and self – loathing!
Always looking forward for that day,
looking for something magical,
ignoring the real and,
growing old in the meantime!
Because,
life will always move on,
even if we refuse to!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Sun and the Moon

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

Making the day and night splendid,
the day starts with the king sun’s rays,
the moon brightens the darkness at night!
He sprouts from the east always,
activates the human race!
He warms up in the chilled winter,
he shows his anger in the mid summer!
The mermaid of every one’s dream,
the moon appears with tiny stars around!
Cool and calm wind she blows,
touching deep every poets heart!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What is a Dream?

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

What is a dream?
Fragments of the past,
remains of the day,
that refuse to go away!
Translucent webs of the thoughts,
the mind cannot perceive,
the residue of sadness!
Subconsciously received!
Sweet memories of time and place,
tokens of delight…
shreds of things that frighten,
formless in the night!
Whose spell are we under?
What is a dream?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Flying High

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

I did not know what to say,
my speech had no ways with names.
The forgotten wings of fever,
deciphering that fire,
I wrote that first line,
faint without substance,
pure nonsense,
pure wisdom of some one who knows nothing!
I suddenly saw the heavens,
unfastened and open,
riddled shadows perforated,
with arrows fire and flowers
void likeness,
the image of mystery,
I felt like being a part of the immaculate abyss
I wheeled with the stars,
as my heart broke free,
and flew high in the open sky!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Exploring the Wreckage

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

I came to explore the wreck,
The words are purposes.
The words are maps.
I came to explore the damages done,
Slowly stroking the beam of my light,
Along the flank of something more permanent.
I came for the wreck,
The thing itself and not the myth!
The evidence of the damage,
Staring straight into the sun,
The drowning face,
Looking away into the thread bare beauty.
Curving assertions,
The risks of disaster,
Among the tentative haunters,
This is the place,
And I am here!
The mermaid, whose dark hair,
Streaming dashing black,
I circled silently about the wreck,
The drowning face, sleeps with opened eyes,
Where breasts still bare the stress,
I am…
By cowardice or courage,
the half stressed instrument!
The water eaten log,
The fouled compass,
Finding my way,
Back to the scene,
Carrying a book of myths,
In which my name I do not find written!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Pain

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

So young to be feeling,
such worldly emotions!
The emotions of embarrassing moments!
When others stop to stare,
when standing all alone,
the emotions of loneliness engulfs!
When I understand,
how will I protect myself?
The pain of a broken heart,
when friendship is lost forever?
I fail to follow commitments,
the pain of having my dreams shattered,
when my effort is not enough…
The pain…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

His Last Journey

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

I looked upon his rotting body,
And drew my eyes away,
I looked upon his rotting body,
Still he now lay!
He closed his lids,
And kept then closed,
Lying like a stone,
Between earth and sky!
Many slimy creatures,
Crawled down him,
Almost dead he at our feet,
But still did not pass away!
Sweat melted down his limbs so limp!
He kept rotting every second!
He looked at us in such a pathetic way,
But still did not see!
His last minute memories can never wash away!
Slowly he was going up,
And stars took his side!
His charming face,
Now looked pale,
A still and awful white!
I had watched the rich attire,
Of his glossy blue eyes,
Where a streak of golden fire had swam!
His lips were dry,
His throat was cold,
His body drenched with the stench of decay,
He was alive…
We all knew…
But still he was dead!
He moved, but he could not feel his limbs,
He had become so light!
I felt he was a distant ghost!
A roaring cry I heard,
I thought he was gone!
But he still strived through the night,
And now he is gone.
The moon was at his side,
The stars danced in between,
Gentle sleep had come from heaven,
Sliding down his soul!
He has gone for a walk we know,
Though he would never return!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Sea

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

The sea,
Hurls itself against the shore,
Retreats and returns,
Smashing itself into splinters,
Splinters of surf.
Restless and uneasy,
Thrashing about,
Veering from side to side,
Just like me,
The Sea!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Yellowed Leaf

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

She had shared
her being with him,
protected him in the azure depth of her womb,
for nine months.
She shared joyously with him,
her life, her blood, her thoughts,
and brought him safely,
with no pain to him.
And now….
he did not wish to share his roof.
Like a yellowed leaf,
hidden in the pages of a forgotten book,
he kept her concealed in a room,
at the far end of the house.
He was ashamed to have her,
shuffling amidst the proclaim glass and granite.
Wrinkled and dried up,
her withered frame,
was no match for his proud crystals!
So,
he delivered her safely,
to more of her kind,
now, like others,
used and discarded,
she awaits her final destruction.
Sitting by the window,
staring at the crimson sunset,
she always dreamed.
And one day,
dreaming so…
she did not wake up!
They said it was old age!
But the truth was,
she died with a broken heart…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Friend

a poem by

Adurthi Sushana

With you I see,
Baubles and Bubbles, Gems and Pearls,
In a twinkle troubles fling in twirls,
Through dream doors,
Which open to weightless time.
Moments glisten through glided sky!
We toss and swirl in bad and good times,
We weave and darn, wreath and mince,
The fragile tear, the timorous strand.
With you I hear,
Jingle and chatter, pitter and patter,
Of word skipping in the rain of joy,
Feet tap to pulsating stories,
Pondering thoughts set to skittish rhythms,
And thumping tunes, shatter the twilight prism.
And I always look forward,
For the day, when I can see you again

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~