The other one…

a poem by Dhanya Krishnakumar

She walked in
Head held high
We hated each other
She smiled
Oh so benevolently
We loved him
With all we could muster
He loved us
On different planes
One a wife
The other!
Who was I?
A mistress?
A whore?
An occasional lay?
The other woman?
The one who stole him away?
Spoilt his marital bliss
The witch
The bitch
The despicable one
Wasn’t my love pure?
Didn’t I have the freedom to choose a man?
A partner who was an equal
Someone I respected
I was in awe of
And then this nubile wife
Petite and slight
She had him
All for herself
Irony of fate?
A bond of true understanding and love?
I suspect that
But he would not leave her
Bonds strengthened him
She stood by him
Had he ever tried me?
My loyalty
No
I was the one who was curt
The one who made mistakes?
The one who hurt his feelings?
The one who could always falter?
Was he ashamed of me?
Was he ashamed of what I held dear?
He does
It slights him to lie and run into my arms
It’s beneath him
One of his stature would not resort to
And yet I feel he needs me
Was he but a liar?
Or did I live in a dream?
I love my illusion
It infuses life in me
Would he ever fathom that?
He might
But never acknowledge it.
And I would cling to it
To add meaning
To add poetry
To my barren life
And all I did was love him
What had I but done wrong?