Rightfully Mine

a poem by Dineen

I was fooled by your wit, style and charm
Who really knew you’d cause such harm
I needed a friend, wasn’t looking for love
You said “Baby, you are all I’ve dreamed of
I had never ever fell in love before
You said “It’s love”, but I wasn’t sure
But what was I supposed to do
You acted like a dream come true
I trusted you and I felt so at home
I was a child, but you were all grown
I had no fear and I wasn’t scared
You convinced me of how much you cared
I was too blind for the message you sent
I never knew what your intentions meant
Just a girl, so youthful and pure
I was not yet ready, I wasn’t sure
Premeditated? Was it? This trap you set
That plan of yours I will never forget
So young and naive, just 13 years young
I didn’t think you’d do what you had done
Please listen I said “Not now! Not here!”
Feel me tremble, can’t you see my fear
I felt so weak, and you were so strong
I changed my mind, it felt all wrong
You weren’t at all what you had seemed
Felt guilty and scared, why can’t I scream?
Still feel your breathe, your heavy groan
Still feel me struggle, a painful moan
I said “ Please stop! Just please go away!”
Did I have a choice? Afraid not to stay
I said “Get off, don’t touch, oh god no!”
But you held on tight and wouldn’t let go
I thought you’d care if I wasn’t ready
Not cover my mouth and hold me steady
You said “Shut up, we’re almost there!”
The pain, the pressure, the final tear
Time is up, you’re finished and done
How could you say “Wasn’t it fun?”
How could you say I said okay
You forgot so fast I said no way
It hurts, I hurt, this just isn’t fair
Ashamed, the torture and hurt that I bare
Many years later… and you dare to forget
You look me in the eye and have no regret
Did you forget it all to feel better inside?
Who do I blame for the pain that I hide?
You say “so what, I have never hurt you!”
And… shut up! Because you wanted it too!”
No! Won’t forget it, no! It will not fade
You pretend not to see the mess you’ve made
It’s not my fault I won’t be to blame
It’s not my fault I won’t bare the shame
No! It’s not okay, no! it won’t be alright
You know exactly what happened that night
Did you really think I’d forgive you in time?
And forget that you stole what was rightfully mine?