Night Bird

a poem by Aanavi Malik

Does sleeping beget sadness
Or does sadness beget sleeping?
I feel like my head is empty of things to think about
When there are too many great nothings everywhere
There if false progress of days and time
And I suspect that the reason for sadness is a lack
Of things to think about
Like my head is emptier than my heart gets
Devoid of emotion like a melting face
Or a field of dead lambs or dirt

I used to have dirt on thoughts
And now they squeak
Where did my funny go
My friend asked me one day
We laughed about the colorless fog of our years
And talked about laughter and drugs
Which are not necessarily different
One is in love and the lack of color nary affects him
But other things like stupidity do

Others are stuck in a traffic with no beginning
And perchance no end
And I am stationary

Like the sun but nothing orbits around me
And I don’t light up
Fire needs oxygen but yet
It burns in the void of my thoughts

Perhaps I don’t exist
Neither does my fire, nor my fog
And pushing people away
Is creating natural habitat for my empty
Walk away soldier walk away
Some wars are only in your head

To anyone who can answer
How do you love?