Lost in thought

a poem by Deeksha Marur

It was cold and scary out there…
But I didn’t see you standing near me to help me fight away my fears.
It was raining and I was shedding my tears and
I still didn’t see you there to wipe away my tears.

It was a moment of pain and hurt…
And I didn’t see you anywhere close to banish the hurt I was going through.
It was a moment of sadness and sorrow…
And I didn’t see you anywhere around to, although I had everyone…
I didn’t have you.

It was a time where I lost myself and wanted your help in finding myself
It was a time where I gave up on life and wanted help in getting back to myself…
But there was no sign of you.

It was the worst days of my life…
And I needed the comfort and the light…
Which I thought would be you
But no light came through from anywhere…
I gave up!

It was the time where I was being judged by myself about me
But I knew I’d be okay if I was holding your hand…
There was no hand nor anyone.

I sit lost in thought of where I went wrong
And think whether I’m expecting too much from you.
I sit so lost in thought about why I care whether you’re in my life or not…

I think to myself why I expect you to understand me… or do you?
Not a word said nor spoken…
I know you hear me and understand me
But when you don’t say anything…
Why does it hurt?
Why does it hurt when we don’t talk…
I know you hear me every time I talk
But why does that stop you from talking?