Poems by
Soumya Sen

Right Now

a poem by Soumya Sen

Right now.
Is a moment I will think about forever and
I will always wish later I
had changed this.

Right now is evening and
my mind is a thousand drops of haemorrhage
rolled into one and
the tune of that song plays on and on
on and on
on and on
on and on
until I have to write it down and
she is all I am thinking about
don’t know why and
she is all I am thinking about.

Right now
they have entered me and
they are forcing me to stop doing things
that will always get stolen and
it does, and
I can’t do anything.

Right now I am stuck
so bad that trying to get out
will get me further inside and
it will be even harder to
gasp air and
the cold, hard hate of this place
will seep more into my skin
sealing fate

Right now
I want to sleep
but I can’t because
if I do
I am afraid I will wake up.

Right now
the only time I am so lonely
is when I am with people.
Salvation beckons me
to dissolve unto itself.
For ever.
I am swayed, I
want to go home
one last time.
But I can’t because it’s
Right Now.

And maybe there’s still some time.
Still some time left
for change to take place.
So much for the hope I am giving up for today
to have a tomorrow.
So much for the time I spent thinking
about regrets that might have
changed my life
saved my soul
had they been
Right now.

Right now
is not a good time to be me and
not a good time to be feeling better and
not a good time to think about
things that matter most, right now
I’m just waiting
for all this
this moment
to pass me by.