Poems by
Anahita Faridani

The Fat Man

a poem by Anahita Faridani

There was an old farmer in amsterdam,
who tried to eat, as much as he can,
he grew so fat, that he could,
almost swallow a horse for his food.

His wife got tired, cooking for him,
she tried real hard to make him thin,
but eat he could all metal and wood,
and at last, he ate his pet canary.

His little son cried ‘cause his canary died,
he couldn’t believe his dad could eat,
he ate his wings, he ate his head,
and he even chewed his feet.

“Oh”, said his wife, “I’m leaving you right now,
I cannot stand a man who eats like a cow,
I make you fish, I make you rice,
inspite of this you still eat the mice.

I’ve tried so hard to feed you much,
you tell me I’ve lost the touch,
you say I cannot make white sauce,
so you went and ate our horse.

Now all our pets are dead and gone,
yet you eat on and on,
don’t you know that they all cost money,
listen to me and stop eating that donkey.”

But yet this fat man does not listen,
he eats that donkey with the skin,
within minutes he feels so sick,
his wife takes him to the doctor quick.

The doctor checks him up and down,
in and out and round and round,
he thinks and thinks and then says that…
“please reduce, ‘cause you are fat.”!!

His wife then complains to the doctor so,
to make her husband understand and know,
that animals are meant to be on the ranch,
and not had for dinner, lunch and brunch.

The doctor tries his best to explain,
eating excess means weight to gain,
that he must eat in his limit or two,
“stick to the greens ‘cause that’s good for you”.

So the farmer went home and his best he tried,
eating only greens, though he cried,
“eating greens is a waste of life,
it is better that I died”.

His wife then saw how impossible it is,
to ask his man to give up his wish,
so she let him then have his way,
and off he went to make his day.

He went in search for some animal to eat,
he couldn’t run too quick with his feet,
he was so hungry ‘cause he was on the run,
he came back home and ate his son!!

His wife wasn’t home for a day or two,
he was so hungry he didn’t know what to do,
he thought he’d die, he’d be out of life,
so when she arrived he ate his wife!!

Now there’s no one to cook for him,
but no, don’t you think he’s become slim,
‘cause he’s out there on the look out too,
better beware ‘cause he might get you!!!