Death or Life?

a poem by Maryse Saldanha

I lay there in a pool of blood
Right in the middle of the street
A crowd gathers around me
Varying emotions on their face
Shock, curiosity, concern even apathy

As I lay there, I know this will be my end
Many people and thoughts crowd my mind
My mother so sweet, my father so proud
Darling Henry, my love and my life

Life was going on, all was well with me
Pleasant childhood with sweet memories mine
I was bright but unforgiving
Very loving but full of ambition
In a bid to have it all
I had left way too much far behind

I worked hard to succeed
With great determination it was mine
But it filled me with ungodly pride
Soon arrogant I became,
I thought nothing could ever stand in my way
Now I know how wrong was I

The ambulance arrives
I am put on a stretcher
The siren fills the air
Someone says something to me
I do not respond
I wish Henry were by my side

He loved me so much
Gave me all I ever needed
But I failed to give back enough love
I loved him, yes
But my ambition came first
For it I neglected my love

My sensitive parents tried to make me see
How I was hurting all those I loved
But I brushed their concern aside
I very well knew what I was doing
I knew exactly what I wanted from life

As I lay alone on the bed
In the white hospital room
Comes back to me
All my words indifferent and so unkind
Each painful word
Every moment I closed my mind
On people who for me could give their life

At last I hear Henry’s voice
He reassuringly holds my hand
The tears now begin to flow
“I’m sorry,” I cry, “Please forgive me love”
“For never paying heed and never looking behind”
“Ssh! My girl, don’t worry all will be well
Don’t worry, I’m always be by your side.”

The formalities done
I am rushed into the operating room
What will it be now? What will they do?
I cannot ask for more, yet I humbly now do
This be my last wish, I pray it be fulfilled
Let not my baby die
Please save my unborn child