Poems by Jita Susan Jacob

I thought

a poem by Jita Susan Jacob

I thought
I could do it alone…
my intelligence
my work
my time
was only necessary to take me along.

I thought that
You were not required…
whatever I did
I could see
whatever You do,
all Your plans
I can’t see in writing
I just thought
that Your word didn’t count.
Only mine counted.

Now I stand empty handed
all that I had done
has been
wiped away into non existence
before my very eyes
in one wave of Your hand.

All my sweat, my time, my plans
-a mockery by Your one move.

My intelligence, my work
-nothing in the shadow of Your power

How insignificant am I
Nothing at all am I

I realise
that nothing
in my life
is possible
without You willing it.

After all
You are the potter
and I, the clay,
formless and shapeless,
in Your hands…
and unless You didn’t will it
I would have always been like that.

I have paid a heavy price…
but the insight and realisation
I have is priceless
Let me bear this in my mind all thru’ out.
Let me not forget this lesson.

And now
I crawl back
wiping away tears
In Your great mercy
will You forgive me?
In Your hands
I lay my life

Take me Your way
thru’ the valleys and Hills
my vision is myopic
my memory so shortlived

Never ever let me forget
how I started out…

Never ever let me
be arrogant of anything I have…

Never ever let me forget
how my life would have been…
if You hadn’t willed it.
if You hadn’t touched it.

A meeting of sorts

a poem by Jita Susan Jacob

It was a meeting of sorts
And as far as I can remember
this is how it went.
Acquaintance… the early bird
Just came in, uninvited.
You came
and stayed on
Realisation was a little lazy
He showed up much later.
You were there
Your unmistakable presence in everything.
Your spirit shone thru…
Your contagious goodness
touched my life
in simple ways.
Comfort slipped in
without anybody noticing.
You were there all through out.
sharing everything,
caring every time.
Attachment came in.
For all I knew is that…
A smile could begin because of you.
Dreams go on because of you.
A tear can stop because of you.
Much later Awareness showed up
Then things came to a standstill.
For a moment… a pause
Recollection lost his way
and couldn’t make it.
When did you become so much a part of my life?
Reality came with a bang!
Posing a lot of questions.
Do I have to give up the sunshine in my life?
Truth joined in
Things came to light
You have become an indispensable part.
But our lives we can’t share.
Time was there all along
But was a silent listener
You were a gift.
Now its time for me to give you back.
Pain and regret left finally,
after persuasion tried hard,
leaving behind bitterness.
Will I be able to live with it?
And then acceptance came over
You were there for a reason.
To be with me for the winter in my life
Strength was a latecomer
But he sure did make it
I can face it.
I need to believe.
Gratefulness just popped in and left
Thank you for being there in my life.