Raised angry voices forbidden words
spat out between hateful lips,
words picked up by a frightened child,
in his dark bedroom
and remembered more clearly than a lullaby.

A slap than singed his ears,
his new uncle, had hit mother hard across her face.
The boy burrowed his head into the cool pillow
feeling weak and useless, yet
planning his revenge for when he grew up.

He thought of drowning himself
then they would all feel sorry,
his mother would cry,
but the thought of that made him cry too,
beside he couldn’t swim
and the sea was dark and winter cold.

Christmas Eve,
in the flat below the radio played a tune
about a red-nosed reindeer.