Silence-2

a poem by Komil

Today once again I felt my silence come and sit besides me…
No today I am not unhappy… but peace… in absolute peace I lay…
Still there is a wave of disturbance in my heart which tells me that a big storm is awaiting…
I remember mentioning the silence after the storm… here I talk of its nature before one…

The silence that provokes ones mind with memories of the past,
That deadly silence is pathetic
But not as much as the silence which brings about the splintering thoughts of future
Which makes one shudder..
Changing circumstances in one’s life can create a monotonous space.
It ain’t easy, I agree, to accept and compromise on past,
Which has already inflicted injury upon us,
But isn’t it more trembling a fact to compromise on forthcoming miseries…

Its like the fate of a leaf which is half brown, half green and who’s seen his companions,
The brown leaves fall from their branch and mingle into the brown earth…
How hard would it be for the leaf to accept that he has to meet one day the same end…
Silence, that burns one from inside,
On the very thought of the known and
Yet to come future is what I talk of today…

It is restless, excited and active
Unlike the silence which proceeds these disastrous nerve wrecking events
Which in contrast is fatigued, inactive, and deadly…
This silence is not deadly, it is full of life.
It is restless… restless in want of making a change…
A change in order to avoid the future… to avoid the inevitable future…

Silence which proceeds has born all its consequences,
It knows of its own nature and what harm it can cause,
As has already inflicted on one being…
But the silence which precedes is an opposite and dangerous to what the first has been…
Circumstances as one knows cannot be changed…
But the silence, restless enough to bring about a change,
Can sometimes drastically affect the life of one bearing this prolonged silence…
It can change one’s personality, character, nature, state of mind, conscience, view of life…
In extreme cases it can also turn one insane or mindless…

Today once again I feel my silence come and sit besides me…
It has made the dead alive, the peace restless and
Transformed the inactive dullness of my life
To an active and exciting voice of pain…
My heart today shirks of its own thoughts
And fears the forthcoming circumstances… the nerverecking future…

It fears how they would affect its previously affected wavelengths
How pathetic can one circumstance make out of an already dead soul
But that consolation I cannot give my heart today,
As this silence has brought in dead
The waves of life.
But that of a pain greater than any other…

I’m not unhappy today
I’m just restless, to bring about a change, somehow
So as to stop those waves of life…
To escape the boundaries of my heart…
Once again…