Between and Betwixt

a poem by Sheela K . Sharath

Like a pendulum
up one moment
down the next;
fighting the
highs and lows
of mood swings
brought on by deep distress
and flailing confidence.

I,
find it so hard to
keep the faith,
when like flaming
arrows you send
a deadly stream
of stressful situations …
Reeling under its impact
I feel like a
dart board,
every ugly incident
scores a direct hit.

Why this rain of vengeance
that smacks of
vendetta?
What have I done
to make you
feel this way.
I have
lead a blameless life,
prayed,
fasted,
sung your praises,
sought you out in
all your varied forms
in difficult
inaccessible
remote areas,
with all the devoutness
and sincerity
that I am capable of.

Yet, you single
me out for
rigorous punishment …
when mortals with heinous
crimes and
blood on their hands
go scot-free
with nary a praise
of you on
their lips, you let
them not only survive,
they flourish as well!

‘Why me’ the question forms
in my mind
and is stilled by a
respectful tongue that
will not give utterance
to a
blasphemous thought!

How then should I
gather my wits
stay unperturbed
and face the barrage
of pin pricks
from sling shots
that continue to
find its target!

Battle weary,
I bow before your
unquestioned might
and my arrogance
of daring to question,
is replaced by an
accepting, sober
‘Why not me?’

Only then,
with my surrender
does the situation
right itself
and calm prevails.
Peace, sanctity and
sanity is soon
restored to
body and mind
and all is well again!