ONE

When I was somewhat less old
Having read the Holy Scriptures
Of many religions, having in
Addition exercised my meager
Intelligence to understand the wisdom
Of many a philosopher, God-man
And God-woman, found myself
In greater darkness, unable to
Find the tunnel, let alone the light thereof;
Was so utterly confused, bewildered
Disheartened and miserable
That I at last set forth my
Agonizing perplexity in the
Following lines, which I quote

TWO

“I am told and I believe
Agree, appreciate and understand,
Totally endorse asking no proof.
In complete and absolute faith
That you God have created
This Earth, this universe, these
Planets, galaxies, all things seen
And unseen, that you have made us
Humans in your own image, (although
Rather limited and deficient in
Perceptions of sight, smell, sound
Taste and touch, not to speak of a
Mind that’s fickle unable to conceive the truth)
Also that you have created the elements
Space, time, many incomprehensible marvels
The Sun, the Moon and the Stars
Laying down their perpetual duties
And that you are the Universal
Father, mother, protector, giver
Of justice on judgment Day as
Many do believe when from
Graves and ashes all are called forth
To answer for their sins. Yet God
In my ignorance, I’m unable to
Experience your presence, your effulgence
That knowledge of you and
I have a humble question”

THREE

“God while in your infinite kindness
You forgive us your children, our trespasses
Transgressions of your given commandments,
Why have you made known to us, through your
Only son, your Prophets, Emissaries, Archangels
Saints, Seers, Mystics, Devotees and a myriad
Others, your word that we are to
Think of you constantly, meditate on your
Glory, Sing your praise, Kneel, Prostrate,
Worship, make offerings and sacrifice animals
Ask pardon throughout our existence
Keep rendering thanks profusely for our
Daily bread, our life, our happiness,
Pray to mitigate our sorrow, crave for fulfillment
Flowing from your all encompassing love,
Compassion, kindness and grace, knowing that
Your kingdom is within us to experience
Cherish and glorify and that we pray to you only in
Sacred sanctified surroundings, holy shrines
Pure in body and mind, taking no other name
Or thought but yours, yet not knowing your
Form, face, name and your attributes but
Calling out to you as Father, Mother, Protector
And destroyer of evil, O Father, why must you be
So demanding, so utterly particular that
We bow to you and get others to bow to the same
You that we think you are and not to the
Other you who others think you are,
In the process, we annihilating each other in
Your name and for your greater glory,
Some of us believing you to be in all things
Including idols, others pretty sure you are
Nowhere except in the camp of the
Chosen ones, the believers”

FOUR

“Could the answer be that you
Being omnipresent, omnipotent
Yet above and beyond all your
Creation or perhaps holding
All creation within you, have
Chosen the eternal, unchangeable
Permanent and everlasting role of
The one who loves yet punishes
Giving us at times when we’re good
Happiness and joy making us dance
And at other times as we turn to sin,
Giving punishment making us miserable
Causing wailing and gnashing of teeth”

FIVE

“O God how I wish you were
More like my own human father
And mother with whom I’m free
Uninhibited and always at peace
Treating them often as friends, guides
Playing with, surprising, teasing
Clasping to my bosom, devoid of envy
Mutually trusting, sharing in sorrow
And in joy, with tears losing oneself in
The other and in my bumbling
Infancy and childhood basking in the
Warmth of their care and protection.
How I wish you were such and not
So incomprehensible, complicated, holy
And great and so hard to get to”

As I slept with these thoughts,
You came and you answered me
“I am in you with my kingdom
The same as I am in your father
Mother, siblings, friends
And all others you know or interact with,
Your joys and sorrows and those of
All others are as much mine as
Yours. You do not see me
Yet I’m never away from you.
You can see me if you really look inside
Thyself and once you see me you’ll
Never miss seeing me in all humans, in all
Things, all creation, ever and always”

SIX

As I woke up and looked around
I was alone and no one was there.
I knew that I’d see you again, if I looked inside.
But tell me God, how do I learn this trick
Of introspection, shutting out my world.
Ignorant me, a simpleton with no great skill
Once again I ask you, please send me help
Or pitying me, reveal thy self.