What do you mean I smell?
Hell I have been eating raw onions
for almost a week.
You are now getting around
to notice that foul smell?
I must say, I sure
don’t smell like a lady today!
Hell I could be known as one of the boys
if your eyes were closed tight.
Why don’t you ask me if I want to join
in that burping contest… I just might win.

When you finally finish resting
your weary eyes
and pull back that cowboy hat,
you might be surprised
that a burp came from such a heavenly sight.
I might look like an angel,
but perhaps I am the devil in disguise?
I can make your knees go weak,
and make you do a rather funny walk,
but I’m not here
to make your heart skip any beats.
Hell, I have made no deals with the devil
I am just mischievous.

I walk around with a big grin upon my face.
I wear only the finest lace.
Wouldn’t you say that my face
is made up rather nice today?
My hair is put up nice”n”neat,
away from my face.
I can look like a true lady on most days,
but who says I have to act like one?

Now don’t go tell me to mind my manners.
I don’t have to stick my pinky out
while drinking my tea.
If it would please you so, I will do it,
but I guarantee you will be on your knees,
asking me pretty please
to place that pinky by my side.
For you see I am a married woman
with spunk!
I don’t have to impress you men.
I got me a nice man at home.
I even let him sit on my royal throne
Just as long as he puts the seat down after he finishes.