Poems by Lauren Ollman

Worth the Risks?

a poem by Lauren Ollman

And
are the risks not worth it?
Is not the possibility that one will be hurt-
the certainty that one will be hurt-
a tenuous distraction from the nirvana that
could be?
If the risk be worth it, he would say,
but will the risk be worth it?
How can one know?
There is no means of defining the degree of
the risk-
If one knew the risks, the results, the risks
would never be taken.

Love is a vacuum
and we must fill it.

To fill it,
to find the passion,
we must throw ourselves
wholly
into the black bloodless abyss.

One may fall
but there will always be
someone
to stop the fall
to cushion the fall
even if it is the cold black
peace,
it will catch and cradle and soothe the
pain.

The pain is communal
all feel it
it touches every one of them.

He feels it.

She feels it.

But he does not know
that she feels it as well.

He thinks that
she goes on through
life
unaffected
untouched
not taking the risks,
not taking responsibility for the risks.

How can she not take the risks?
She was there
from the beginning.
She said that
the risk had to be taken
by he
as well as she.

They did.

She never promised.
She warned
that the result of the risk,
might cause him pain,
might cause her pain,

It did.

She kept her pain
sub rosa- she always does.
He did not,
cannot hide.

It would have been
easier to fight
hat
but one cannot fight
what is not there.

Or should one risk one’s
self- trying to fight it?
Is it worth the risk?

It is always worth
the risk.

Love is life,
life is pain.

Love is pain.

Pain can only be
acquired through risk.

To love is to risk one’s
self
soul
breath
life (if life is love
to love is to
risk love)
and the risk is worth
the chance of
love