You were wet from the dew
I didn’t feel you until you were
Trembling along with me.
How did I yearn for you!
Count the seconds when you weren’t there!
While you cherished other bodies,
Other un-shaven chins, other warmth.
How much did I carry the mildew perfume
Of your hair in my nostrils!
While you trod on my dreams
With high-heeled bitchery.
How long did my ears resonate
With your tinny laughter!
While I gazed into the drab walls
Of my pent-up cubicle
Thrashing deadlines and fidgety.
Now you say the words I’d always dreamt of!
As I reach for the weathered wallet.
‘How’, you ask, ‘it’s possible for Love’s richness
To fade, to cease?’ as you gather
Your trailing hose and smear on lip gloss.
How can I ever accept?
When you just sold yourself again.
Sky through the dark, plate glass windows.
I espy soaring gulls crying effeminate
At my blith-less existence.
Laptop boot, elevator, car, scream.
I’m free again till morrow morn!
She floats down like rivulets
Of rain making patterns o’er
The grimy glass panes.
She soils my soul pitiless
With her studied silence
And resenting eyes.
She flits across my dreams
Like mosquitoes would o’er
She wakes me up listless
With her tinkling laughter
And inviting lips.
She abounds my conscious
Like waves swamping fisher-boats
Descend, rebound, descend.
She envelops me scarceness,
Without physical union
And endeared memories.
She lives and fights me endlessly
Through shredded words and
I cherish and seek her gamely
In every waking moment,
Content that she throbs in me!
Despite her stoicism.
Wretched doll I am, wallowing
In yesterday’s refuse.
School bus, singing children
Pass by; curious eyes.
I await to be chosen
By the next rag-picker.