I sit here and wait while you talk on the phone,
I wish I could get out of this loveless zone,
I’m pressing the button when I hear the tone,

Our marriage is in trouble.

You go out with my brother when it comes to fun,
While I crisp and crackle in the baking sun,
It’s time to find another special someone,

Our marriage is in trouble.

It’s so boring I may as well be dead,
You tell me that everyday in bed,
Maybe I should date your sister instead,

Our marriage is in trouble.

Why did I meet you? God isn’t fair!
But I’m worried more about the divorce lawyer’s share!
I know we’ll be petty and have a fight,
About who was wrong and who was right,
And who gets the car, who gets the money?
It’ll be so ugly, it won’t be funny!
So let’s be mature and climb up a notch,
And let me have the T.V, so I won’t miss Baywatch!