Poems by Devika

Inappropriate Me

a poem by Devika

I laugh, I am quiet
I am funny I get fright
I am moody, I am hot
I am nosy before I start

I get easy
I love ruins
I am wounded
I am bruised

I disagree, I do fight
I am jealous, I keep diet

I am bossy, I show off
I love urdu, I love to talk

I cry, I am confused
I do shout and abuse

I am so abnormal to be normal
I am you, I am me
I am the whole energy of emotions
Boiling at a hundred degree

I am mad half the time
The other half, I weave dreams
I pen down my heart
Through words I do scream
Through words I do scream.

Lost love

a poem by Devika

I saw a man yesterday
he was standing not very far

he turned around his face
and ignored

i was sure
he was somebody i knew

i walked on the other side
to meet the gaze of his eyes

and he bent down suddenly
and started tying laces already tied

and for then
i was sure

It was he
seven years has passed

and this is how silly he is till date
running from the past

i started walking towards him
and i could see the sweat on his face

before i could say a word
a voice invade
honey, i am sorry, i am late

he quickly stood up
and hugged his so very hunny pie
saying he missed her very sight

they were hurrying suddenly
he must be getting late

for a second
now i could see his pale face

i stood there for a little long
thinking of his sight

standing as brave as i was
the day he left me
when i told him i am carrying his child.

Bus Stop

a poem by Devika

I stand by the roadside
Waiting for the dust to settle…
A bus just went past
Without stopping:
This stop is not scheduled.
I think you, Sir,
Used to come in that bus
And would get down here for home.
I stand here everyday
Watching constructions
Around me change the scene:
Pedestrians picking their way
Through debris piled high;
Cars taking confused U-turns
To find themselves near me yet again…
The digging and dust and din
Go on till the sun goes down
And workers trail a tired path.
The bus stopped here
Some time ago
This was the route going home…
But now this road is not en route
To home or any place else.
So I am now obsolete
And vacant like dead eyes
That watch and wait
For someone to close them
And give them the dignity
Of a quiet end.

Driftwood

a poem by Devika

I am glad to have received these Gifts:

To trudge through fields of sorrow
And reach a harvest strong-
Gather sheaves of wisdom
And silence inborn…

To watch the hours of darkness
Fade in the light of dawn-
Assured of the promise
That will ensure a balm…

To hear the laughter mock me
And know I am not wrong-
Accustomed to slights
That fail to shame my song…

To hold a hand held out for help
When no-one holds my hand-
Knowing when my task is done,
I’ll drift along the sand…

To feel no pity for myself
No resentment for what’s gone-
No anger at the Powers that be,
Just magic and a song…

A Reflection

a poem by Devika

My mirror often tells me things
Uncomfortable to know-
The crows’ feet around my eyes,
The wrinkles on my brow-
My eyes look out and speak to me
Of accumulated years,
Of all the richness in my life,
Of all the hidden tears-
There was no pedestal at my feet,
Why did you place it there?
You know I have no head for heights;
I barely climb a stair!
Pedestals are dangerous things:
They ask strange things of you;
Things you cannot comprehend,
Things you cannot do-
Pedestals are so fragile:
They’ve no life of their own,
Empowered with another’s thoughts,
Withdrawn, you’re left alone!
And someday when the cracks appear
They crumble at a touch,
And I’ll be left with reflections
Of when I meant so much…
Give me no pedestals now,
Reality suits me best:
The wrinkles and the heartaches
Spell a gentle rest…

A Naming Ceremony

a poem by Devika

I thought I’d give my house a name,
something to make it mine-
And riffled through the pages
of memories gone by…

Some of them were grimy,
overlaid with dust,
And some were dull, depressing,
useless with rust;

And then again there were some
with edges sharp with pain,
Ones I would not like
to dig out yet again!

But some were rich and coloured,
the texture silk and strong,
These were such as could provide
a name or even a song!

But when I took them out and held
them close to my heart,
I found them light as gossamer,
Ready to fall apart;

And so I put them back into
the trunk that holds my grief,
And gave my home the only name
which it could truly keep:
A journey, no destination great,
My Home is called “The Wait”…

An Anniversary

a poem by Devika

If tomorrow does not come,
If the sun does not rise,
How shall I catch up with all these things,
Unsay the truths, unsay the lies…
How shall I tell you that I knew
You will love me forever,
Knowing in my heart somewhere
There is no word for “ever”…
Knowing all those other routes
Down which your life must go,
I yet believed that I could stop
A moment in its glow…
I crammed into those little gaps
A lot of love I’d stored,
Hoping someday you would use up
A little of this hoard…
I know it is too late today
To turn the stream this way
Of a love that splashed my life,
Gave me “forever” and a day…

The Road to Self

a poem by Devika

There is this little story
of a little girl they tell:
Born with a silver spoon,
On bad days she fell-
She kept a secret hidden
In the recesses of her heart,
Not daring to share
Of her dreams any part!
And went from grief to grief
Till her heart it broke,
When into the twilight
Her dream itself spoke…
On my shoulder lay your head,
I’ll comfort you, dear,
Give you a little respite
From every pain and tear…
And yet when she sought
To rest her heart awhile,
Her dream withdrew and stood aside
With a mocking smile:
This was but to test you;
Let me offer advice-
‘Tis pain which leads you inward
To your Self: So dry your eyes…

Twilight Star

a poem by Devika

You told me just the other day
The time has come to stay away,
To get accustomed to solitude
And learn to cope with fortitude…

I thought I had these mastered now;
But find instead I’m learning how
To count the beat that marks the hour
And find inside me the lonely tower

In which I store the memories past
Of days and moments that never last
To bank upon the glow of light
That helps me through a sleepless night-

For another day I’ll save
Thanks for all the warmth you gave:
For when my light was nearly gone
On my horizon one star shone…

Celebrating Love

a poem by Devika

Love enters in strange disguise
Like smoke lingers in your eyes-
Rub away for all you’re worth
Some part of it will still hurt…
And yet when it clears away
There is a light as bright as day,
And a little shadow stays
To remind you of the dusky days
Of love that only came to tease,
Quiet as time and a gentle breeze…
And left you with an aching heart
Why, oh why, must we always part?
Yet when you look at yesterday
What you see along the way
Is not the skeleton of your fears-
But a rainbow of promise amid tears!

For You

a poem by Devika

I have no grief, no joy unshared,
no complaint, no tear to shed:
For You walk beside me.
I have but thoughts of You alone
and a longing just for You:
And that resides in me.
The lamp is placed before the Wind,
which shelters it Itself:
For You preside me.
I care not if no other comes
at my behest or call:
Since You guide me.
A single drop of tear is price
I paid for all this joy:
For You live inside me…

A Slice of Rainbow

a poem by Devika

Slice a piece of rainbow for me
and make sure the edge is smooth-
Sometimes rainbows hurt…
I want to colour some part of life
and match the colours right-
Sometimes they spurt…
And when I think of a special blue
I find myself with turquoise light-
This time I want it right…
And when I want some green or red
I find myself with brown instead-
Not something really bright…
How can you think a piece of lime
is the golden shade I want-
It’s real gold I mean…
And when I say a little orange please
don’t give me rust or brick-
Something like orange peel…
I have a purpose here you see
in taking rainbow hues-
No variations will do…
For the white, grey, black,
and beige has touched
my life so long ago…
That now when sunset is not far
and I see shadows on my face,
I want to hold a rainbow
and take joy as the final grace…

A Little Strip of Joy

a poem by Devika

The littleness of things that be
leaves me wondering,
How little can one be?

Is this a lot or is this little:
your view differs from mine-
Insignifices vary…

And yet so great the chasm
of abundance and want,
Where lies satiety?

Whole limbs, a mind uninjured,
a body complete-
Soul struck poverty…

Mansion shut, unlighted windows,
a solitary life;
Let me have the sky-

Rainbows of memory, clouds
of tears and strife,
So little, so much joy…

A Little Price

a poem by Devika

I watch the ticking of the clock
and hear its hands move steadily on,
and wonder if this fragrance
is of the passing time…

I smell my heartbeats in the dark
and touch the memories of the past,
and wonder if my damp lashes
have been dipped in pain…

I paint the inside of my soul
with every shade of laughter now,
and in this rainbow light exists
the shadow of a breeze…

I carry all the notes of song
in cartons of tomorrow,
for I know this harmony
will provide me ease…

I’ll touch your life now and again
and bring alive the light
which folded into your soul
till it rises and flies…

I care not for the distance now
nor for the silence long,
for all that He has given me
this is a little price…

A Little Laughter

a poem by Devika

Speak to me tomorrow
of things gone by today-
Conversations overheard,
bits of talk-
a little sleep;
some crumbs upon the table;
some thoughts
that lie too deep-
Speak to me of happiness,
of sorrow left unheard-
of crusts of joy
enclosing
layers of grief unfurled-
Give a little time to me
to tell you of the past;
of dreams (not fully dreamt yet),
of time that moved too fast-
Meander through each thought
while a moment stands;
lest each be lost before
I have held it in my hands-
I find you have no time;
Perhaps that’s as should be-
For if you did, you may
laugh a little at me…