The withdrawal

a poem by Deeksha Marur

Emptiness in my thoughts
I’m unable to figure out what’s going on
I’ve become so moody I don’t know why
I wanna cry but the tears seem to be so dry
I wanna laugh but only a meek fainty smile appears

I wonder why these moods swings and depression
But get no profound answer… just a blank expression
I feel so prodigal and ignored
But from within, I know I’m loved and cared for
I try to get over this stage and
I try to move on by trying to ride this scary wave
But all I get is nothing in return

Unable to take this dejection I feel and the mood swings
I’m losing myself within
I’m going against myself, I’m breaking and hurting
I wanna break free and smile
Emotionally stressed out and mentally frustrated
I feel like running… running away from myself

I try to ride the wave of mixed emotions but I’m losing control
I can’t seem to do all I want to but instead I’m doing what I dislike
Depression and morosity are filling up inside of me
I’m loosing, I’m breaking
I’m troubled and I know not how to come off this stage

I’m giving my hand out
But no one seems to be taking it
I’m falling
But no one seems to me helping me up again
I’ve tears rolling down my face
But there’s no one to wipe them
I’ve been searching for answers
But I can’t seem to find any
I try to smile and laugh
But when I see no one around I withdraw.