Overnight, a big black spider spun a web which
Blocked the kitchen’s back door and square jawed it
Sat in the middle of its handy work and glared at me.
By the front door, outside, a police officer smelling of
Lavender stood guard and I noticed that he had
Manicured fingernails.
“I was a ship’s cook for twenty five years,
but sailors made fun of me, said I was effeminate so I quit”,
He volunteered, without any prompting from me,
“And joined the forces, they even gave me a gun.
Do you want to see it?”
“No thank you. I don’t like guns.
They have got bullets and smell of oil.”
“You are making fun of me he shouted through the letter box!
“No, I’m not; it’s just that I don’t like Guns.”
The uniformed man, who used to be a cook,
Cried hysterically till his sarge came and led him away.
“Don’t make fun of my men”, he said,
“They are doing a valuable job.”
“I know I wasn’t making fun of anybody;
It’s just that I don’t like guns”.
Fed the spider a couple of dead flies
And when it busy eating, hit it.
Over the head with an auctioneer’s gavel
and hoovered away the web.