Prayer

a poem by Sasa Milivojev

I return to you Lord my God
Punish me
Punish me for not loving
Punish me my Lord
For not praying to you enough
So that my hands are not empty
For not feeling a warm look
For running away from the warmth
Punish me
For not fearing loneliness and silence
Like an intoxicated dance of fire
My every thought is a sin
My every smile

Punish me
Kill me
Our father, who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
When my body is laid to rest
May your kingdom
Take me in its chains
It is your will
I know
You know
Everyone knows
This pain is tearing me apart
And forgive me not my trespasses
As I forgive not
Those who trespass against me
I went through all the temptations
And came back to you again
To pray to you
Not to deliver me from evil
On earth as it in heaven
Let my body disintegrate

Punish me
Please
Kill me
Let no one
Shed a tear for me
Or say anything
As no one can be
Genuinely hurt
By God’s peace
I only wish
To sleep forever