If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don’t, you are not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don’t, you are good for nothing.
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don’t, you are not understanding.
If you visit her often, she thinks it’s boring
If you don’t, she accuses you of double-crossing.
If you are well-dressed, she says you are a playboy
If aren’t, you are a dull boy.
If you are jealous, she says it’s bad,
If you aren’t, she thinks you don’t love her.
If you attempt to romance, she says you assaulted her modesty
If you don’t, she thinks you do not like her.
If you are a minute late, she complains it’s hard to wait
If she is late, she says that’s a girl’s way.
If you visit another man, you are not putting in ‘quality time’
If she is visited by another woman, ‘Oh it’s natural, we are girls.’
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage.
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it’s just one of men’s tactics for seduction.
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says they are just admiring.
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk.
In short,
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful… women.