My Third Birthday

a poem by Siddharth Bhattacharya

When I was three
Someone asked me
Hey little kid
Tell me what you wanna be
Blinking my eyes
Thinking for a moment
Scratching my head
Looking here and there
Browsing through about…
Three things I knew then
I said I wanted to be a garbage collector
That someone who asked me
What I wanted to be
Was none other than
My sweet little mommy
The day was my third birthday
And I was in front
Of about twenty other people
Who had come to wish me
Tell me how cute I was
Wanted to know… ever if I grow
What I wanted to be
A garbage collector!!!
The whole room was in a state of shock
I almost felt… duh!!!… I am a kid
I have a legal right to be dumb
But there was pandemonium
My father was sweating…
I bet there was a chilli in the cake
My mom was grinning
And I was like… uhhhhh
What did I say
My friend’s father… who was very fat
Found it especially funny
He could hardly manage…
His bouncing (ever growing if I may add!!!) belly
Someone dropped his plate
On someone’s dog (ya there were dogs in my party…)
And there was the poor animal whining
It’s the end of the universe… (may be that’s what he thought)
My school teacher (ya!!… I used to go to school when I was three…)said
This kid has been especially crazy in my class
It’s about time he goes to boarding school
He has to be disciplined

We shall appoint a ten member committee to look into this (that’s a hyperbole)
Someone slapped me out of frustration (now that’s hallucination)
I don’t know who was that… and I got another one
What… was the boogey man in the house
Someone had eaten my share of the cake (now that made me cry)
I am sure there must have been calls to BBC and CNN
What was I supposed to say
I want to be a dermopsychoneurocrypotologist (whatever that may mean!!!)
Spare my three year old pea brain!!!
Phooh I had a bad time that day…
I wish I can forget my third birthday!!!

(Disclaimer – Rather a small apology to mom n dad-
this is a pure fictional piece of creation,
please do not get mad at it…
I am just kidding… and don’t slap me…
I am twenty five maa!!!
I love you all.and pardon me for all the spelling mistakes)