Poems on "Business"

Kidney Punch

a poem by

Mario Crimmins

Place your consignment
Of primroses
On a log flume

Will you be the fourth link
In my heart-constructed
Daisy chain

I long to lust and call
You Sally
Though Hughie Green was my Valet

Death to the infradig
Life to the Disney kids
You spend I lend ok dokey?

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For One Bauble More

a poem by

Elaine E. Howie

I give my love for one bauble more
I arranged it to appeal to the core
I have a plan to resist for a time
But I forgive you your absence of a strong mind

Under your love and awareness
I will not take for granted preparedness
Lets step back and see what we find
A hell of a future for a bauble of mine

But lonely as anyone can be
I sit here and sigh for past memories
And though I be a wench with more then a bit
I control my hope of love of a tit

So one bauble more is what I will ask
And I will not retreat until I’ve had of drink in the flask
I am only going to do it one more time my friend
Then I will pull up my drapes and leaves will grasp The End

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The richness of Bill Gates

a poem by

Hiren Shah

Somebody by the name of Mahadev Desai
sent this from Ahmedabad on the wealth or rather richness of Bill Gates.
My poem is added below the write up.

Bill Gates earns US$250 every SECOND,
that’s about US$20 Million a DAY and US$7.8 Billion a YEAR!

If he drops a thousand dollar,
he won’t even bother to pick it up
because the 4 seconds he picks it,
he would’ve already earned it back.

The US national debt is about 5.62 trillion,
if Bill Gates were to pay the debt by himself;
he will finish it in less then 10 years.

He can donate US$15 to everyone on earth
but still be left with US$5 Million for his pocket money.

Michael Jordan is the highest paid athlete in US.
If he doesn’t drink and eat, and keeps up his annual income i.e. US$30 Million,
he’ll have to wait for 277 years to become as rich as Bill Gates is now.

If Bill Gates was a country,
he would be the 37th richest country on earth.

If you change all of Bill Gate’s money to US$1 notes,
you can make a road from earth to moon, 14 times back and forth.
But you have to make that road non-stop for 1,400 years,
and use a total of 713 BOEING 747 planes to transport all the money.

Bill Gates is 40 this year.
If we assume that he will live for another 35 years,
he has to spend US$6.78 Million per day to
finish all his money before he can go to heaven.

Last but not the least: If Microsoft Windows’ users can claim
US$1 for every time their computers hang because of Microsoft Windows,
Bill Gates will be bankrupt in 3 years!!!!!!! !!!!

If I were to summarize this account of good old Bill
With so much wealth, he can never, be ‘over the hill’
The fact that he is no run of the mill
Is not only proven by his exceptional skill
Instead of choosing to will (to his descendants)
Mankind’s agony he has chosen to mitigate if not kill (Foundation)
As the world’s two richest men get together, time stands still
Vis-a-vis their gesture, their other achievements amount to nil
The trend they have set is the real cause for thrill
It can never be expressed in words no matter how many pages I fill

A place in history is secure for Bill Gates
Wonder how his achievements it rates
It won’t be restricted to boring dates
In a world of trivial jealousies and pet hates
He has tried to ensure that the rich and poor are mates.
Hope the memory of his grand gesture never abates
Hope he is emulated among countries by the United states

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Share Trader’s Dilemma

a poem by

Venkat

Should I buy, or
Should I sell

Should I enter, or
Should I exit

Are they buying, or
Are they selling

Should I invest, or
Should I speculate

Should I increase exposure, or
Should I decrease exposure

Should I borrow, or
Should I return the loan

Should I do cash market, or
Should I do derivatives

Will I make profit, or
Will I end up with a loss

Should I quit, or
Should I continue…

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Union Budget

a poem by

Hiren Shah

My dear Chidambaram

Considering that you had to do a balancing act pervading a wide spectrum
Considering that you had to pander to many a communist tantrum
Your budget is so wonderful that one feels like beating a drum
One doesn’t mind getting intoxicated by whisky and Rum
It is indeed difficult to maintain decorum
Your budget has really put India on a higher rostrum
You have proved that for economic progress, an astute politician can be a fulcrum
Whether individually or in quorum
I hope you and your budget are not only appreciated in this but each and every forum

So wonderful is your budget
That one hopes that it sets India’s fortunes set soaring as a Jet
Only in implementation if you fidget
It will remain a kind of Vignette

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India’s best financial accounting package: Tally

a poem by

Hiren Shah

From Mumbai to Kolkatta, from Chennai to Delhi
In computerized financial accounting, there is no match for Tally

If you want to concentrate on your core-competence dynamically
For taking away administrative headaches off your back,
   there is nothing better than Tally

“Accounts being the language of business”, many businessmen can suffer fatally
Because of lack of knowledge of accounts on Tally

When the data on screen has to be monitored daily
No software provides more flexibility than Tally

Whether the reports have to be presented midway or annually
They are absolutely thorough and correct in Tally

Magazines only talk about finance education for children
   which can never be achieved fully
Without an excellent enabler like tally

For that matter commerce and MBA students would have learn finance/accounts totally
Only if in addition to theory, the practical orientation includes Tally

With the introduction of Tally enterprise and call center,
   efficient operations are possible wholly
With the use of one and only Tally

In computerized accounting in India, Tally is Holy
Maybe a dash more color on screen and print would make it more if not as colorful as Holi

The kind of orgasmic pleasure one used to get in manual accounts
   when trial balance used to Tally
Similar feelings are aroused on operating Tally

To people who despise accounts, packages like Tally
Are as exquisite and wonderful as the Kashmir Valley

Such people can do accounts for lifetime blissfully
As accounts seems so easy on Tally

If there is one package which deserves
   to perpetually behave the way stocks behave in a rally
It is Tally

One hopes to be able to operate the package perpetually
Since it will really require something special for any other package to outclass Tally

So if you are contemplating buying an accounting package, without any dilly dally
Straightaway opt for Tally

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The stock Market

a poem by

Hiren Shah

Technical Analysis

When the market is bullish all are interested- friends, siblings, aunts and uncles
To avoid indiscriminate decisions, one should try and get them interested in Technicals

The most important thing in Technicals is to know and improvise your reading
On where the market is heading
To know whether the market/stock is trading or trending
One must master the signals that the graphs are sending
The market being supreme, to ensure a happy ending
To the market one has to be surrendering whether or not one likes bending.

If the market is trending, the most important indicator is the ADX*
Its role in determining unpredictable trends is as explosive as RDX***

( ADX = Accumulation distribution index, RDX- explosive)

One can also opt for the Vertical horizontal filter
To ensure that in reading the market, one does not falter

All the above must be supported by the crossover of the trendline
Which to date remains the most basic tool to determine stock advance or decline

To know which way the stocks will twist and turn
One has to master many a price pattern

To support the above, in most instances
One shall have to look at previous Supports and Resistances

Among the analysts, it is a rage, among many it has got the brightest image
If the markets one has to correctly gauge, nothing beats the moving average

If you want to go beyond the above which to trending is ABCD
You must probe and master the MACD

If a trading market confuses and makes you a vacillator
You must look at the stock market oscillator

Oscillators apprise you about momentum
Which indicate the Trend change speed’s quantum

Prime among them is the Relative strength index
Though not known for reflex, it is reliable for analyzing stocks, Nifty and Sensex

Next known oscillator is the stochastics
Unlike RSI, it is highly reflexive and indicative of short term stock gymnastics

Despite all the above analysis, a winning trade one cannot assume
In fact trading is something one should not begin or resume
If the price action is not supported by volume
Otherwise, one may disappointingly fret and fume

Last but not the least is the stock and market Volatility
Which more than any thing else indicates short term success probability

Fundamentals enable you to buy, Technicals enable market timing
With a dexterity that matches my rhyming

Technicals enable efficient exit and entry
One need not depend TV channels or other commentary

It would not be out of place to mention Money Management and Risk
Not knowing that can make losing money in the market feverishly brisk

More if not equally important than technicals is Trading Psychology
Ignorance of which can make trading deceptive and dodgy

If you know how to monitor the activity of bulls and bears
A sound knowledge of Technical analysis can avoid reducing you to tears

To sum up, the market comprises of sincere people, scam stars and rascals
Everything is visible on the charts, you cannot afford not to know Technicals

Fundamental Analysis

If people think that on Technicals, I have got over sentimental
Let me add that they are ornamental without the analysis deemed fundamental

For each and and every stock, to know how to judge and treat
You cannot but not know the profit and loss account and balance sheet

One can easily get bowled over
By the last three-five years turnover

Turnover need not necessarily indicate profitability
Which more than anything else improves the stock market performance probability

Profitability has to be supported by inclination to declare sufficient dividend
Whether one is talking of a stock or discussing a mutual fund

Dhirubhai Ambani knew that with continuous dividend, capital appreciation would be the result
Which enabled him to single handedly change India’s equity cult
In his life time, Reliance was stock market’s perennial darling
Irrespective of market rising or falling

One has to look into growth of turnover, profit and assets
To make a holistic judgment after looking at all facets

One would be considered an ignorant fellow, his investment performance could be mellow
If in today’s world he is not aware of funds and cash flow

Anyone who knows anything about the stock market would not dare
To venture into a stock without knowing Earnings per share

Unless you are well versed with your Price to earnings ratio
Your investments could turn into a flop show

One should be specially be vary of replacement and free reserves
Inability to distinguish between the two can prove very testing for your nerves

To achieve a proper relative judgment, one has to probe the chemistry
Of the stock vis-à-vis peers and the concerned industry

Pursuing Trading and using Technicals, one has to be daring and bold
On the contrary, in Fundamentals patience is required for buy and hold.

Whatever assessing stocks or indices through Technical or Fundamental analysis
They are just tools; overindulgence can result in “Analysis causing Paralysis”

If you don’t like the poetry, there shall not be an encore
Remember that Technicals reflect opinion, fundamentals shall always remain the core

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A Ship’s Autobiography

a poem by

Nikhil Chandhok

A shipowner’s banker,
I am a robust tanker.
Here is a tale,
Of my twenty years of sail.
I have been all around,
And never run aground.
Green as a pea,
I sailed through the calm sea.
Once the sea got rough,
I became more tough.
How can I forget,
That glorious sunset.
Today I just stay afloat,
Am laughed at by a Tug-boat.
As months pass by,
I am turning grey.
But still in the fray.
As people hauntingly say,
I just cannot make my way.
Steel plants take guard,
Soon I shall be in the Scrapyard.

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Antisocial Diplomacy

a poem by

Jayati

Is Pure Diplomacy?
Discreet antagonism
Advice rowdies Brutes let loose.
Set thieves loot.

While at the same time
Ask the residents
Guard your fruits. Keep vigil in suits.
Diplomacy Pure

Please both! Gunboat Diplomacy spreads
Virus, worms, and Trojans
However, as well Nations help stop diseases.
Provide medicines expensive!

Out of the way, drill, shrill wolf cries.
Trustworthy Double Standards’
Their lobby
Unable to sell dilapidated shoddy formulas
Shout murder, additional wolf cries.

Jaundiced skin, mosquito sting
Good investment does Ministry help Finance?
But Naturopathy
Smoke screens trap parasites, save poor lives.
Lose profits the greedy investors.

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Auditing

a poem by

Jagganathan V

When a pair of eyes aren’t believed,
When the person at the helm of affairs doesn’t feel relieved,
‘Auditing’ comes into the fray of things,
‘Alarm bells’ if any an auditor rings.

Systematically examining data, analysing data and obtaining audit evidence,
Never shirks off his responsibilities and always portrays a picture of confidence.
He is the need of the hour, his eagle sight,
Left in a dark desert often, yet he is the leading light.

He has drunk fully the river of knowledge, yet his thirst remains to be quenched,
There is a rain of newer and newer things and he has to get really drenched;
Honest to the core, daring as a real soldier, inquisitive as a child,
Effective and efficient always, his approach is either mild or wild.

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Ode to an angel

a poem by

Jagganathan V

The dear departed Mother Teresa in her simple and plain garb stood before the Lord,
She is none but the greatest of all;
Teresa, the mother of affection and love,
Was as peaceful as a little dove;

Even though she was very old,
She had a heart made out of gold.
She played a very significant role,
In helping the poor reach their goal.

Oh! Mother you will always be divine,
Never will decrease your hallowed shine.
You departed with such little fuss,
But you will live forever in hearts you’ve deeply touched.

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Giant Pillars of Societies

a poem by

Jayati

When companies become giants
They think through their stomachs
Consume their very minds.

Good big companies as they further grew
Their sense of morality from the balcony threw.

Good big companies as they further grew
Their great sense of responsibilities
From their shoulders flew.

Good big companies as they further grew
Staff work force used and threw.

Good big companies as they further grew
Hurly-burly Giants’ shirkers of duties
Hurdy-gurdy of hussy’s blew.

Good big companies as they further grew
A breezy production increases in colours hues.

Good big companies as they further grew
Robots replace workers and men few.
Resonant produce, produce-

Good big companies as they further grew
Products surplus, demand slacks, slew.

Good big companies as they further grew
Sit over endless cash- kind trillions
Profits in own circles blew.

Good big companies as they further grew
Complacency, state of stagnation drew.

Good big companies as they further grew
Slither, hither thither, but hypothermia glue.
Worldwide Producer of miseries, joyous chews.

Good big companies further into giants grew
Their through their stomachs are left with their blues.

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Jay Jaw

a poem by

Jayati

Jerboa jetsam
Jewellery jettison
Jeopardize jerry can

Jerky jargon
Jocose Jacuzzi
Jamboree jaywalk
Jabber jack jangle jape

Juggle jab
Juvenile jump on
Broken jawbone-
What a practical joke.
Lost notes and whopping sums.

Now, let us keep mum!

Sense-No-Sense

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Gothic Nightmares

a poem by

Jayati

Just now I have discovered a truth,
a fact I want to share
but I’m choked with the thoughts
that rush and run,
in an uncanny haste and stare;
Which makes me feel like a total waste.
Helpless; thus
I am unable to rest; race across the end
to send the correct message.
Get pessimistic about a case;
“The gigantic, gloomy horrifying architecture
that lie, hide behind
in glamour, star, everyday life,
declare two in one-
Global economy, all around the world
business sure to nose dive;
with an exception of alcohol, arms, tobacco and drugs.”
“Murder and crime
Primitive? instincts finding shelter even in soft and tender hearts.”

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The Annual budget 2003

a poem by

Hiren Shah

Unlike other countries in India, during the Budget time, speculation is rife.
Nobody can remain unaffected by it whether corporate executive or housewife.

‘Gareeb ke pet me daana, grahrani ke tukla mein anna’
‘Kelkar saab ki baat ko nahi maana,
long term me naani ke saath yaad aa saktee hain naana’* budget 2002-2003

You *have stated that this is a budget for ‘India that is on the move’
If India really has to get moving,
the populist tendencies in the budget you have to remove.* Finance Minister

You have stated that for the economy to get going, the thrust has to be provided by Spending
Why not curb non-development govt expenditure as well ; there you are not bending.

Though the continuation of many a subsidy may make an economist giddy
You want to continue with something which is a disguised perfidy.

Liberalisation was also introduced when there was a paucity of foreign exchange reserves.
Forceful measures at the last moment is the last thing this country deserves.

In election years when so many issues and compulsions are pressing
Which political party will not indulge in a bit of window dressing!

Economy can also be revived by the development of Infrastructure,
It is better to devote more time to that then delivering such a long budget lecture.

Since the elections are near, to popuslist measures your response had to be ‘Of course’
Then what was the need to form the National Task farce, the National Task Force.

When you knew that it won’t be too long before we have an election.
What is the point in such appointments, why waste time and money in such a selection.

Everybody knows that with elections on your head
If you don’t take populist measures, you are as good as dead.

Since elections are near, you had to be on your guard.
Then why did you make poor ‘Kelkar and Company’ work so hard.

One hopes that someday on such populist measures, there will not be much reliance.
You will pull out all stops everwhere just the way you do to ensure tax compliance.

One hopes that someday, you will do so well on good governance,
While framing the budget near election years, you will not have to rely on deceptive performance.

Mr Kelkar apart, what was the point in coming out with any committee report
When you knew that such a step practically you were not going to be able to support.

You may be thinking that I am trying to be smart and witty or indulge in repartee.
Hard fact is that needing votes in your kitty, you could not afford to follow any committee.

It is good that at least you agree with Mr Kelkar in spirit.
Wonder when the day will come when leaving populism, you too will form a budget on merit.

If this causes discomfiture, the fact remains that unless you drop the populist feature
In the eyes of some NRIs, India shall forever remain the land of the future.

It unfortunately becomes an election gadget with which any finance minister can fidget.
We can hope that someday, election years too shall have a genuine budget.

Dividends have been once again made tax free
This will enable small investors to feel care free.

The government keeps doing flip flop, Dividends oscillate between corporates and citizens
Why not concentrate on the big picture and expand your horizens.

To avoid double taxation, it is better that dividends are taxed on the Coprorates
It will reduce administration ; they also know well how the government operates.

It is better if the government introduces a permanant Corporate dividend distribution tax
For small investors, it would be as welcome as Mandira Bedi was on the TV channel Max.

Another laudable step is the abolition of long term capital gains tax.
Housing being very costly in India, it shall genuinely enable budding house owners to relax.

It would not be out of place to mention the facilitiation of housing loan repayment.
Funding for housing for ordinary citizens is a permanant lament.

One thing that nobody can ignore is the rate on inlation.
In case it goes out of control, eyebrows get raised even in a rich nation.

It is even more significant to people who do not earn,
They really have to keep their eyes open on their real return.

The striking feature in the budget is always in the fiscal deficit.
It draws as much attention as an American president’s visit.

Although it has to be kept within a certain percentage of the GDP.
In actually doing so, all finance ministers have been sloppy.

Speaking of GDP, how can one avoid talking obout GDP growth.
Expenditure has to be curbed instead of merely augmenting output, you have to manage both.

In fact if you are really concerned about accelerating the GDP growth rate.
FDI has to make headway like China; it is now no longer dependent on the vagaries of fate.

After Independence, where enonomics is concerned, liberaliszation is our second tryst with destiny.
Bureaucratic hurdles must be removed to prevent foreigners from reorting to mutiny.

If they get annoyed and there is a capital flight.
To all this talk of development, you can say good night.

There is nothing new in framing new budgets many will compliment
However remembering the late and great Dhirubhai, the more important thing is to implement.

The government simply has to be less profligate and curb governement expenditure
Otherwise, Innovations may prove ineffective
although they may be as promising as an Ambani venture.

You really dererve kudos on the way the govt as a whole has handled disinvestment.
If only in all the other aspects as well, I could make a similar assessment.

So many negative tendencies could have been checked had you followed Mr Kelkar
It reminds me of the catches that used to be taken by cricketer Eknath Solkar.

Nobody can deny that on subjects like education, we needed an introduction of rebates.
Education of the public at large is a must if; its high time tendency to persist with populism abates.

It is now increasingly possible to fill the returns on line,
As a result, it is a foregone conclusion that govt officers will lose their your gold mine.

There is no doubt about the desirability or popularity of the Public provident fund.
You would be even more popular if you could ensure a hassle free Income tax Refund.

Retired people have no option but to hold on to their National savings Certificates.
They have to be as careful as Rahul Dravid is to prevent the fall of wickets.

Budget not being able to ignore the middle class is not just a presumption.
That is why every year, you have to introduce some or the other tax exemption.

What other option is there but to rely on Government relief Bonds.
When every now and then, there is a share market scam and the culprit absconds.

In reality, if the govt really wants to encourage the small investor to invest.
Scams in the sharemarket are anomalies the govt simply has to arrest.

While you show a lot of zest in collecting the Advance tax,
Curbing expenditure is something on which you continously tend to be lax.

For collecting revenue, there is close monitoring of every target.
However when it comes to reducing expenditure, you conveniently forget.

Some light has to be thrown on the cost of borrowing
Instead of narrowing, it is conitnously harrowing.

If we really want to prevent falling into a debt trap.
Certain populist steps we must forbid and wrap, such short term measures are crap.

Sometimes the government has no option but to resort to an aribitrary surcharge.
When very few pay taxes despite the population being so large.

The government simply has to curb expenditure in addition to generating more revenues.
If additional funds are going to be wasted, there is no point in exploring such avenues.

Similar to high taxation, there used to be certain policies
that used to induce people to indulge in hawala.

Still so much remains to be done, no one can warn as the late Shri Nani Palkhivala.*
*Was famous for his speeches on the budget.

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