Poems by Anuja Pandey

Endless Life

a poem by Anuja Pandey

I want this day to end
I want this pain to end
I want my nerves to feel me
I want you to be out of my system

It’s you who left and it’s me who is left behind
Come back or take me.

This day seems incomplete, this sentence seems incomplete,
My breath seems incomplete

I tried to hold tight, I tried to stand straight,
but this feeling doesn’t go away

I die day by day

I know you don’t want me back,
I know you ended it for real.

But I still stand with the fear what if you were unclear.

My heart beats for you, my life is all about you
but now as you are gone, I am left with nothing at all

I want this day to end
I want this pain to end
I want my nerves to feel me
I want you to be out of my system

It was that smile

a poem by Anuja Pandey

It all started with a smile
I thought you meant it for someone else,
Thinking who can ever like me.

Well, I know I look odd with those chubby cheeks and these specs on.
But did it ever stop you,
I kept ignoring the fact that it is me.
It was always me, but it never click me.

And we went on this way, till that day.
There you were in front of me, waving at me, even with no space for air to pass by

Do you even know, I always wanted this, wanted us to let go,
Let go of all the emotions, emotions that crosses by.

I wish I could have hold my breath and asked you your name,
Because you always knew mine.

The ticking cursor

a poem by Anuja Pandey

The ticking cursor irritates me, as if it’s teasing me.
Teasing me, staring at me, as if it doesn’t give a ****.
I kept looking back at it, asking him to shut up.

But my brain shuts and heart opens, trying to write all the shit that just happened.
Why can’t my thoughts process slow, slower than my hand move,
Why can’t my hands move faster as if it’s my mobile keypad.

Write, write, write and what not to write,
What if someone reads,
I kept stopping myself, whenever I felt it is just my belief.

Belief to fall in love and rise again or just keep drowning to the deepest shit.
My heart knew what I felt but my hands kept moving totally extremes.
As if my hands could think, of those unsaid flings.

I let you

a poem by Anuja Pandey

You see me, I notice you
You reach me, I meet you

You make an effort to know me, I respect you

You love me, I allow you
You ask me, I let you

But now
Now you are gone, leaving me to wonder

Wonder what was real

If it was you or the one who left
Because I am still here but you are long gone

It was always you

a poem by Anuja Pandey

It’s you who has taken a decision
which I was never a part of

It’s you who thought I am not worth of
what I desire for

I remember the day when you said
you wanted out

I remember me juggling for answers
which I had no questions for

I wonder if it was time or if it was fair on me
or was it only you

I wonder how you left with
no looking back too

For a minute I wondered if it was a dream,
I kept pinching myself with no self esteem

How could I ever let you incharge of my life,
when I knew people always leave me behind