Poems by Komil

I’m tired, I still go on…

a poem by Komil

I let the candle burn
I let the sweat run
Can’t hold it anymore
But I still go on…
And before the night falls into another burning day
I let my tears burn wherever my shadows lay
Hoping they would make a mark
A ray of hope in pitch dark
For I’m tired… I still go on…

But before the day arrives
And takes them out of sight
I want to see them all
Before I move in bright
But to all as it seems bright
That day is darker than night
And so I hold my night before it falls
For this night gives me a vision to see it all
The shadows on this wall…

I see a maiden dressed in light
Braiding someone’s hair
I see a game of hide and seek
Worth someone finding her pair
I see two girls fighting and cribbing
And ever refusing to share
I see two arms consoling each other
To believe I’m always there…

And so my tears burn
Where the shadows run
And there they leave a mark
Craving to hold on
For I’m tired, but I still go on…

Half the candle burned away
Half the night swept away
And slowly the shadows reduce to half
I see no maiden but I still see someone
Someone I see only half…

I now see some strange shadows around
Torturing the soul unbound
Binding it in cages of fear
Of love, of happiness, of hollow tears
But the marks are different here
Those traced of red
Capturing the lost sound…

But the shadow escapes those marks
Again I let it go
And likewise I let the time flow
To dry the left over marks
For I’m tired, I still go on…

I light a new candle for the night still remains
And darker it gets as my vision expands
And darker it gets as the shadow expands
My innocent self becomes fearful behind the shadow stains…

The shivering shadow turns fearless
Fearless in search of existence
Fearless in search of being
And I see someone moving alone
Alone in the company of dreams…

And there the night falls
My tears come to light
I find no marks
I find no shadow
All engulfed in bright…

The fearful shadow disappears
The fearless self remains
And here my vision ends
And here I turn insane…

The blind self craves for light
In the day full of shimmering bright
It is blind, it loves to be so
For light it cannot take in
In search of light, in want of light
In dark it flew all night
And so the light has made it blind
And the craving self goes on…

I let the sweat run
And the dead candle burn
And the lost shadow run…

For the day is here to make me blind
And I keep searching in dark
My crave for light will forever go on…

I’m tired, I still move on…