Poems by Anupama M

My life, my past, ‘n’ me

a poem by Anupama M

With the caress of the gentle breeze
My flow of thoughts momentarily cease.
An’ I drift blissfully down memory lane
Oh! So much like a weather vane
My heart’s so very troubled
Pulling me in many directions – I’m so muddled!
Thoughts that crowd into my mind.
They haunt me – none of the same kind.
The past – the perennial stream
That pierces through my heart – a laser beam
Things I’d thought I’d long forgotten
Which seem, to my heart, to fasten!
As I look back revelling in the happiness
That I’d experienced – moments full of goodness.
Sadness seems to engulf me
As I think of things that could’ve been.
Of the mountains ‘n’ valleys ‘n’ streams ‘n’ meadows
Of which when I think of – my heart glows.
Where I used to play – a child
Radiant with innocence, playful and wild;
Of the places I went, the people I met
Of the joy I felt – great! You bet!
As I went places, hand in hand
With people I trusted, to far-off lands.
Of the time I grew up – oh! the feel of it!
The joy it gave me – you can count on it!
Then the childish, innocent mind
Was exposed to things – varied in kind,
The evil ways of the world so wide,
That gave me the jitters – hard to hide.
The selfish nature of people around
Who seem to jump at trifles found
Worth to live in forests with beasts
Even they’d loath, on them to feast!
Are they humans? Hard to believe
Wicked nets ’round people they weave
Nets of jealousy, greed ‘n’ revenge
But life’s impermanent. What do they avenge?
They say something; think some other thing
And finally do yet another thing
Deceit and rage is the call of the day
Falseness, disloyalty; ‘n’ nobody to pray.
I reflect on the past – the ghosts that haunt
Forever, it seems, to me, to daunt
People come, people go
Like the cast of a long drama show!
Promises made ‘n’ never kept
Of things that could’ve been if they’d been let.
But the past is past, I think aloud
None can blow up the black big cloud
But, I think – it can be blown
With a huge wind, made on my own
For ’tis only me who can brush away
The threatening past that may lead me astray
From my goals in life – all I wanna achieve
So my past, I need to sieve
The happiness and joy – moments I had
Treasured possessions that make me glad
That I lived in the wide wide world
Are to be hoarded till the end of the world.
While the sad moments, I’ll never miss
Are to be thrown – deep down the abyss
Never to be retrieved by man or beast
Will you help me do this? For me, at least?!